linsepbordo (1K)

01The Ondestorte mission is also to approfond an approach cultural of the world "in cui" we live, and for this reason was created this section. Being the mother of cretins always pregnant, here we collect the contributs of the most talented deficients about science, art, cultur and so on. Themes are freely trattated and everyone can find arguments of grand interest, like sex stupid perversions, indovinels, cazzatas, short belinates, scientific falses, poems over the merda etcetera. Great! Great! Great! you will exclamate.
Fun!Fun!Fun! you will scream. Cazzarol! You will think.

02Delirious inventions, superb ideas svilupped in this Ideas Creative Gallery that will stimul your emotive coglion side of mind with the purpose to render you as deficient as the Ondestorters, or more if you are dotated abbastanz. On old Ondestorte advertising campaign suggest exactly this theme. The purpose is divided in different arguments and is under supervision of Mr. Colin Improta. It's all clear? Enjoy!

Society, politics, sport

03Ondestorte has profused an impegn really extrordinaire in substaining the candidature of Culpardo Squargnazza to Genoa's syndac but he haven't success because during the electoral campagne he escaped with a troy.

04So Ondestorte orientated his efforts in sport, making real the dream of the World Culefant Championship. Culefant is a new sport discipline inventated by Ondestorte and consisting to shot a man into the ass of an elephant with a cannon. Wins who penetrates more. In the photo you can see Nokio e Bokio Sukay, Ther corean world Champions in 2006.
Onde has furthermore created great competitions of Shit Climbing, another pass in forward for migliorating not only phisic form but also intestinal funtionality.05 (10K)

Cule and shit

The most significative impegn of Ondestorte is the firm of the contract of sponsorization with multinational Steryl Merda, an historical brand specialized in care of ass and derivates. The collaboration between Onde and Steryl has produced many fantastic products and iniziatives, and here you can have only a small idea of the great action promoted by ondestorte in defence of the cule and for the recycling of merds.

06So you can find special ano-glasses, aposite instruments for clean double asses or specialized poisons for resolving stitikness or anal black blocks.

07The terapy suggested is a little bit intrusive but guarants a sure resolution. The penetration of supposted is certain because they are introduced with a revolver shot.

08Anothes suggest for auto-medication by Ondestorte is a special kind of pinces which consent the auto-estirpation of emorroyds, anal ragads and diverticols. Also this therapy is not exactly indolor, but sometimes a radical intervent maybe necessary.

09For the improvvise scarics of diarrea and other problems of improvvise shit Steryl and Onde have projected a special slip dotated af a collector for shit canalizing. They called it EasyCag and is still a planetary success. EasyCag consent to cag everywhere.

10The shit canalizing has also military employments and Sterylmerda have had a great success in this stupid world who likes war and conflicts. His premium product in fact is the celebr Shitgun, a special auto-alimentated rifle that shots shit utilizing intestinal gas as propulsor.

11SterylMerda purpose also the use of ass in defence with nuclear implications and has provided a special shit-uranium-enriched for resolution of conflicts.

12Ondestorte create also an alternative Science Festival in what was suggested many ways of merda-recycling under the brand of the association Dimerda.

13But SterylMerda is impegnated also in migliorating quality of life and relations. So we have many civil employements od SterylMerda technology. In the quotidiam life we met SterylMerda in transport, in foods, in dresses... Te Kula is a special car shit alimented;

14The Eliculo Project is an innovative technology that consent to fly with a small kit consisting of an elique and a pignon to infilate in the ass.

15Many vestments are promoting SterylMerda and here you can see the millennium t-shirt, celebrating a correct use of cule and his applications.

16SterylMerda appeared in 2007 with a great world advertising campaign, destinated to persuade on quality of products and services of Steryl against attack of Anonet, an outsider rampant brand erodin some quote of the marketplace to Steryl. The conflict between Steryl and Anonet is testimoniated in our blog with a long sequence of post.

17We stay not here to elencate all the extraordinary employs of shit in human alimentation: is sufficient to consult the label of quite all the products of the great brands to se tha we are prevalently alimentated on merda-based foods, but Steryl superates all whith an extraordinary line of delicious foods, firs among all we must segnalize the Steryl Shitsauce, a delicate shit flavoured sauce to condite all foods with an inconfondible fragrance. Steryl produced over 9 millions of Shisauce confections only in the first three months of 2007.

18In the merchandising of Steryl rest unforgettable the label to place on the wc door while caghing: a touch of class, and an usefull complement to bring always with self.

19A real revolution in ass-market was consitituted by tha Ass Card. It was promoted as follow: New! the Ass Card. A new exclusive service from ONDESTORTE:
Get your Personal Ass Cleaning Card!
Traveling abroad, outdoors trips and no toilet paper?
Our lovely "CuloCard" is infatt dotated of a sharpen edge angle (see the frecc), ideal to scratch away the shit from the anal orifice after the pooping.
More, the brown color of the card hides the little chunks of shit sticking to it.
Reserve your Ass Card at the Brown Number 800 7448 7448 (dial 800 SHIT SHIT).

20But Steryl dont only think to human ass: also animals were considered, especially when the try to fuck your leg and scass very much the balls: for this Steryl has provided a special solution with Inculadog project. Your dog will fuck the Inculadog and you can listen quietly Ondestorte.

21A new major appliance was presented at the Culo Leisure Tradeshow.
The italian brand Merda Scaccia Merda (Steryl Merda Group) introduces a new concept of ass comfort. The new cess, called Caldoculo is the state of the art of the ass warmers. A compact construction with advanced features ensures an insuperable comfort while caghing. As a matter of fact the built-in fan provides a hot air flow under you ass during the shit session, drying the galush and preventing the tanf of merd.
For this reason the Caldoculo is recommended for the installation in the kitchen.
Vote the product. Read the opinions. Vah-fan cooloh.
Average rating 8,69

22SterylMerda is also near to small quotidian problems, such as the shit conserving. The purpose of a small carriable "portamerda" has been another global success of Steryl: a Columbus Egg which resolved many disperate cases of stocking or archiving escrements.

23Ondestorte have also substained project which involve shit in amazing activities: we here remember only the famous movie "The Defecator" starring Chuc Connors...

24...and the unforgettable "Culo di Rubik", a game becomed a tormenton in the 80 years and rediscovered in the suffit by Derek Vissani.

gas and ambient

26Ondestorte is preoccupated for the future of the planet. We are persuaded that many toxic emission can be reduced or totally abolited. Our theory start from the Foundation Statute of "Regia Accademia della Merda" (Royal Shit Academy). These proud grandfathers for first were considerating the danger rappresented of tons and tons of shit dayly produced by human race.

27Onde is in first line to combat this problem and have suggested month by month small and big solutions, from the recyiclator of toxics gas produced by a person (having therefurther the quality of giving a quiet sleep with a natural and auto induced narcosys) to the special solution purposed by our consultant Mr. Bols.

28Bols' Idea is now a real issue.
Mr. Franciscus Timmy Bols from L.A. California shows us a original and creative way to reduce the toxic emissions caused by te gasoline engines. The system is suitable only to parked cars with the engine running.
The new "Bols Method" is supplied as a kit, including the special lingerie to make the operation not only ecologic but also a divertent (maybe) recreation.
Mr Bols says: How I goded to schiaff in cul a Ford!
Mr. George W. Bush P.O.T.U.S. has declared: "In the future, when we will take care of the ambient, other body parts will be involved in the struggle against the pollution, for exemple the culo"

29The Ondestorte Laboratoires of Pasadena, USA deeply studied the fart and his implications. The Laboratories every year print an annual report on The state of Fearth which comparated mundial emissions of farting with other toxic emissions and suggest solutions and laws projects.

30The study of range and qualities of fating have also his extimators: To them is dedicatef a special "ifart" collecting and reproducing the most flavoured fart qualities.

31But not only gas is a problem for the planet: water and war too. For this two problems Ondestorte has an unique solution that contemporary resolves the two. In the foto you have a small example of a concept which can be applicated to all guns, pistols, revolvers, bazooka and cannons, converting every weapon in a water dispenser. So human race will not be prived of the pleisure of shooting but they'll dont kill anyone. The rewater in the foto is not still selled but we hope some famouse farn will put it in production in the next years.

sex, body and mutations

Ondestorte keep under control the most explosive question of our times: human body whith all his implicatinons, starting from sex, the central claim of todays period. Sex is everywhere excluded in coniugal beds.

32For resolving the frustrant sensation of a small caz that many men have, generating complex and low self extimate, Ondestorte has purposed to redescribe a traditional achetype of sexual italian masculinity: The Michelangelo's David is reproduced by our artist Girolamo Scacciamerda with a best proportion of sexual attributes.

33For affronting sexual question, in wich Ondestorte staff is not specialized, we have involved a great consultant: Mr Frank Diablo, known also as Sheila Mannaro, an imperversing sexual protagonist who substain to have a clear vision of sexual activities an can count over a lonf experience utilizing every channel of godury.

34But all considered we substain that fike is always fike and we ever adorate big fiker even if they dont love us. Sometimes disgraziately to be a big fike is not a privilege. We have discovered Mrs. Wagina Koloss, a student of Royal Handmill College in Cornwall. She is 4,30 tall and she substain the beeing a big fike not semplificate relations with other sex.
Perhaps is better to be a normal fike.

35The Ondestorte Museum Shop has dedicated to sex problems a vaste section, with many testimoniance of many different culture, but we are sure that sex is an universal language, and everywhere you go, a pomp is a pomp, a 69 is a 69, a smallsheep (pecorine position) is a smallsheep, a parisiano or a missionarian can change name but the essence is always the same.

36Body is not only sex. In our period we assist to mutations: plastic surgery, tatoos, piercing, bodybuilding and every sort of intervents want transform our body. In our special experience we can segnalate an amazing case of Dermic Fusion: Mr. G.F. (in the picture) suffering of Squargnatz Syndrome (SS) also known qas Dermic Fusion (DF) shows us how his forefinger has completely fused with his cheek, that we better can call buttock, being Mr. G.F. a "Faccia da Culo" (Asslike Face).
Very prest Mr. G.F. will have a surgery at the Saint King Prince Mangiamerd Hospital in Neosho (Missouri) to switch his fused finger directly in the culo.

37Otherwise we study also the performance of human body in normal conditions. Mrs. Carogno Puzza was sottoposed to a special ear traction with many other people. Carogno made register the most sygnificative elongation of ear in the world. A special record which made of Carogno a real star.

38Ondestorte has also smascherated Artemonio Kulasprazzik, a famous pianist, who executed impossible partitures with an incredible virtuosity but our Klaus Koriza discovered his secret: he was sottoposed to a special intervent and robed two fingers to his twin brother's hand.

39Bio engineering has suggested our mind and we have produced more varieties of mixed animals in our loboratories. The most famous is the girufala called Marisa, a good result for monthes and monthes of aborted tentatives.

culture and arts

40We cannot subtract to the appeal of arts and culture world. In first positions we must segnalate the romance Carne di Culo, a multimedial science fiction novel written by many deficients. Carne di Culo is an imperdible concentrated of demence. It's very amusing but someone says it's too long.
If you are interested, go to

41Our "connaissance des arts" is testimoniated by a new iconoclastic interpretation of the Laocoon was provided from Poldus Kulowiecz, Shittow Institute of Arts.
The statue of Laocoòn and His Sons, also called the Laocoòn Group, is a monumental marble sculpture, now in the Vatican Museums, Rome.
This Ellenistic sculture (picture 1)shows Laocoòn, who warned the Trojans against the Cavallo di Troia (Horse of Puttana), strangoled from the snakes that Poseidon sent to him and were interpreted by the Trojans as proof that the horse was a sacred object.
42 (14K) This was the current interpretation until now, but Poldus Kulowiecz got deeper in the historic documents by Stronzocles and by Quintus Smerdaeus and found out the true cause of the mort of Laocoòn.
What seems to be snakes in the sculpture is instead a "stronzum soffocantis" or a giant long turd extruded by Laocoòn himself to commit suicide.
As a matter of fact we can observe some tracks of shit close to his ass (picture 2) that corroborate the Kulowiecz theory.
Laocoòn's killer turd - A new perspective.
Poldus Kulowiecz, Cazzoculofigatettemerda Editions, 2007
Strangling Stronzoes in the ancient Greece
Katzoulo Minkiolopulos, Athens 2006

43A study brought forward by Derek Vissani and Flacca made emerging the old roots of a new way of expression: writing with cock is a natural and spontaneous way of communicate.44 (16K) We believed it's a recent invention but we discovered that Belinographe has his origins in 1550.

45Ondestorte has created also a special Museum with arts are directed in ass direction. The great success of our happening "ass in modern art" is for us a motiv of proudery and give a sens of our being out of range.

46For our ideas and our actions we have received mani dyploms and prixes, first among all the chart of the Free Thinkers University.


47Traffic and cities full of cars are today one of the most pressant crashing of balls for who live in a town. Accidents are encreasing and we want to do a hand purposing some new signal.
48 (10K)In these images you can admirate some of our purposes for new signals. We must remark expecially the signal dedicated to alarm for the put in ass danger. Today keeping it on ass is very easy and we want to preserve European people from this terrible risk.

49It's obvious that these signals are not directed to all people wo loves keeping it on ass. They can ignore this signals, bur cannot ignorate the others, especially the signals of shit dropping, an accident that can crate some problem an waste for instance a quiet weekend with the partner.

50We have instituted new segnaletic banners on our roads with the contribute of Indro Carburi who specially wanted a signal for Cazziculo country, his origin place.